13 Dec 2009

This last week was hectic-crazy! But so much was accomplished! I am officially enrolled at WSU! I am grateful to my friend Jess who challenges me, and it is due to her that I finally decided what I wanted to be when I grow up!

I love Sundays! Although they're not lazy days by any means, it's the day I look forward to. I love listening to the speakers, seeing my friends that I don't get to see during the week, renewing my baptismal covenants and I love working with the youth! Today I was released as the Mia Maid Adviser and called as the 1st Counselor in the Young Women's presidency in the Auburn Hills Ward! I am excited and humbled that the Lord has entrusted me with this most sacred position. I will do my best to serve as the Lord would have me serve.

Josie is as busy as ever and with wrestling season (she's a manager) in full swing I hardly see her! She is busy studying for finals and is halfway through her sophomore year in high school. When did this happen? Seriously, I turned around for one minute and my little Pooh Bear who wouldn't leave my side has turned into this sweet spirited beautiful young woman I hardly recognize.

Dannielle gave a talk in her sacrament meeting this morning and thanks to Helen for starting my class I was able to sneak over and listen to Dan'l! I am constantly amazed at what a beautiful woman she has grown into. It is so hard to let go! On the one hand I see that she is so smart and responsible and makes good choices and is ready to go out into the world and start her life. On the other hand I am not ready for my "baby" to grow up. I am not ready for this part of my life to be over. You know, the part where they don't need you anymore. They're done being kids and I'm not done being mommy.

Part of me wants to freeze time right here in this golden hour. I would commit to memory every little detail of our lives up to this point so that I'll never forget them as they were. They change into drastically different people every day. I know I'm being nostalgic. Maybe it's just me but I have this insane fear that they'll leave home and marry and I'll be forgotten.

The other part of me is enjoying watching my girls blossom! I can't wait for them to make their dreams come true. I can't wait for them to fall in love. I can't wait to threaten their husbands with death if they hurt my babies. I can't wait to be grandma.

It all went so fast! I ask myself quite often "Michelle, if you could go back in time, what would you do differently?" I would have spent more time playing dress up, barbies, and hide and seek and less time complaining about messy rooms. I would have hung on their every word and really listened to what they were saying, instead of nodding in agreement while I was really thinking about bills and insignificant material things. I would have memorized all of their little idiosyncrasies that I only recall glimpses of now. I would have yelled and spanked less and hugged and said I love you more.

Out of all the things I could have done differently, I can say with all of my heart that being "mom" has been the most beautiful part of my life.